Tuesday, October 2, 2012

4th Day

This is the 4th day without Dermovate... Feeling lousy... the skin on my forehead feels tight, stretchy and oozing.. Usually, when one part of the body is itchy, the rest of the body doesnt feel that bad.. At the moment, the forehead part is giving me problems. I have to dab at it every few minutes with a tissue paper, otherwise it will drip to my eyebrow... huhuhu..  I need to upload the photo now, just to share with you how bad the situation is:

                                                left side + neck area
                                        the left side of the face.. see how angry the skin looks?
                                                      this is the right side of the face

Actually the whole face is affected.. but only the forehead area is oozing...  notice the cracked at the forehead? This is the part where it oozes...


I told my husband that I need to go to see Dr Ranjit tomorrow, I cant wait any longer .. Saturday is 4days to go and I dont think I can stand that long.. Is has disrupted my sleep.. waking up a few times just to scratch the intolerable itch on my face....it burning, blotchy, flaking and oozing.. the feeling is just HELL!!  In the morning, I called up the clinic but they said the appointment is fully booked for this week. Only walk in is acceptable.. Well, you know what 'walk-in' means.. it means you have to wait for at least 3 hours to see the doctor!  huhuhuhu  :(  but never mind... for my sanity sake, I don't mind waiting..

I just don't know what else to do... I'm certain that the skin is infected.. otherwise it wouldn't be this bad. Need to get antibiotics... then for maintenance, i think Moogoo products would help to a certain extends.. emollient, emollient and emollient does not work at this point in time.. I am sorry, I have to break my own promise again.. the spirits is willing but the body is weak... that's me..  :(    I seriously think people who ask you not to take the steroids jabs has never ever experience the suffering of the eczema sufferers . If they do, they wouldn't say or looks down on you for not being patient enough to let your own cortisol to work its way... blah blah blah... its easier said than done, I always say... I get this bad flare up maybe once a year.. so getting the jabs once a year is not that bad in my opinion.. anyway the dermo should know better, dont they??  And as I said earlier,, the pain I have to endure for the eczema is 100 times more than the knee pain... i can sleep with my aching knees.. but i surely will not be able to sleep scratching my body all night long.. and sleep is sooooo very important to me... otherwise I will be a bit ting tong and cant concentrate and focus the next day... I've already figured out that I will probably need to do a total knee replacement surgery by the time I am 55.. the knees are already f***ed up anyways, so no worries... the rest of the side effects can be tackled hopefully easier than the surgery.. I hope so.. :)

This is in no way promoting the steroids jab, but it you really really need it, then just take it.. If the pain is so intolerable and making you depressed (like me, I have to take lorazepam (anti anxiety) tabs).. then take it..   but if you can tolerate the pain, then wait la for your cortisol to work its way into your system.. you just have to be patient and sabar..  I guessed its much easier if the patient is a baby or children.. then their immune system can be worked up and they have less toxin in the body.. But for sufferers like me who have been suffering all my life... its not easy, in fact its almost unworkable.. But the idea of having and living steroids free is very exciting...I am not cancelling it total... if i find the right substance of cure, I will surely want to be free from steroids. Therefore, the search is forever still on.... as God has already said that:  for every sickness, illness or diseases he has given to you, there will be a cure, insyaallah...unless its death!